You're only as old as you feel
By Brent E. McCoy thereal@roadrunner.com

I've always believed in the saying that you are only as old as you feel. As I get older, I still think that I'm young, but my body is beginning to argue. I find that doing things with my kids keeps me feeling young. But, like anything, there are good points and there are bad points.

During the cheerleading events that my daughter competes in, I can still get down on my knees to try to get that perfect picture. I just can't walk fully upright for the next few days.

We have a parent team that competes at some of these events. These folks are pretty good, and one day one of the dads on the team saw me bouncing around taking photos and said that I should join this parent team. I immediately declined because I've seen the things that they have to do. Pain has no trouble finding me, so I see no reason to go looking for it. He made me promise that I would consider his suggestion, and he gave me a day to think of some athletic stunt that I could contribute.

I thought long and hard about what I could contribute, and the next day when he asked what I had come up with I had an answer that I felt confident in. I told this dad that if they ever needed someone to come out and throw an awkward somersault and then lay writhing in agony while screaming like a little baby, I was their man. They must have gotten busy because they haven't called me back yet.

One other time someone asked if I could do what they called the "Parent Toe Touch." I told them that if they found a parent, I would try to touch their toes, but two or three other parents would have to help me up. I haven't been asked again.

Even in baseball I've been forced to invoke what I call the Advancing Age Relief Play, or AARP. This rule states that any ball that comes to rest in the outfield that I can locate and bend over and pick up is an out.

There are some advantages to being a little out of shape. On one of these cheer trips, we stayed at a very nice hotel. This hotel had a pool, but we try to keep the kids away from the pool before a competition so they don't tire themselves out. My daughter and some of the other kids came over to me and said that they wanted to go swimming. I didn't want to be the mean old dad who ruins everyone's fun, so I told them to go ahead and get ready.

I also mentioned that while they were getting ready, I would go buy a new pair of Speedos and join them at the pool. Not only did I not see them the rest of the day, I'm pretty sure that none of them went anywhere near the pool. You can sleep in peace tonight- I didn't buy the Speedos.

On the downside, my daughter once mentioned to her friends that I couldn't shake my booty. I indignantly responded that I most certainly could shake my booty. And I can; it's just that I can no longer stop my vital organs from shaking along with my booty. Interestingly, I didn't see my daughter or her friends for the rest of this day, either.

When I take photographs I'm often asked if I got any good ones. For the past couple of years, I've had to admit that I couldn't tell how good the pictures were until I found my glasses.

That's all for this week- my fingers are starting to hurt.